Two years ago, this would have been the only thing that I'd wanted, but now, two years later, its just too little too late. Its been way too long for me to return to where I'd been then, and continue from there. Its too hard, I've forced myself to forget, and none of those things will ever change. I don't suppose things will ever be the way they used to be, and maybe at the back of my mind, I don't want to go back to that. I was too commiserating, gave in too much. I don't think I'd stand for that now, and maybe I want something better, something more exciting, something new. I'm sorry if you feel that there're more people in my life who're of greater importance than you now. I won't deny it, you're not number one in my life anymore. There are people who have been there, all the time, and haven't given me as much heartache as you have. I admit I'd wished this would happen so long ago, but now is just so far from two years ago, and after a while I'd just stopped wishing that this would happen, and learned to live for other things, learned to love other people. It could be that our expectations sometimes sell us short, and that I still want this, and its just not how I'd imagined it to be. (However, at the back of my mind, I know that this isn't true, and that I've really gotten on with my life.) Today was too sudden, after too long a time, and perhaps I didn't react as you'd have wanted me to, but honestly, who would have? Not sure what I want from us, but I know its definitely not that.

Maybe its time you moved on too.

Jazz yesterday night was pretty alright, basically went to hear Naomi and Tom sing, and damn they're good. Left early at about 830pm though, and headed to J8 to have dinner with Mel. She bought 2 bowls of beef soup which cost 8 bucks in total! Totally not worth it in my book, but I got to share it so whatever. :D

Anyway next point. ONG YANHAN IS TOTALLY COUNCIL PRESIDENT! Like how srsly awesome is that. Yanz now you have to be more glam alr, cannot go around taking retarded pictures anymorezzzzz :D

Pics like this.


AND THIS D:

I have more but I think I'll save her reputation a little eh heh.

This morning's set was.. kinda weird. Damn my stamina really sucks, couldn't even make all the times for the 12x25 dive sprints. Missed 1, and had to swim 2x200 fly as penalty cause I false started another one. Basically the set was 12x25 sprint, with a given time to make, and the penalty was 1x200 fly for each time that we missed. All this was cause coach is still pissed about our 3k for time on Saturday. Think its largely my fault cause I was swimming really slow and srsly trying not to die, but compared to everyone it looked like I was slacking ): Now's not the time to emo about it I suppose, but to make the most of what time I have left before I have to stop to study for A's. Its just strange to think that I've put so much time and effort into this sport for so long, yet I'm not really very good at it. Kinda seems like a waste of energy. I wish I could be better, but I suppose the failing is no one else's but my own for not having the drive to train as hard as other people. Oh wellz there're many more things in life.

I've more or less finished swim capt's speech for this Wednesday. I hope its good enough :/

Back to maths. Baibai.

So today was an alright day, though I was SUPER tired, kept dozing off. Fell asleep during GP, and woke up to Ms Uma saying "Katrina are you alright? I hope you weren't sleeping." Oops.

Anyway there was this really funny conversation going on between Andrew and Fats.

Andrew: "Yea my degree is damn high"
Me: " Mine's like 700 plus!"
Fats: "HUH THEN HOW YOU SEE?"
Andrew: "Contacts la! -.-"

K it doesn't sound so funny now ):

Anywayzzz headed to the library to do GPP, and finally finished it at like 530! So went upstairs to look for Mel and Jenwei, found them mugging :o So to cut a long story short we decided to head down to Island Creamery at Serene. As we were coming down in the lift, the lift suddenly shuddered to a stop. So needless to say we were all like WTH?? And when we got down to the canteen, YueZhen told me to "thank a certain councillor for that" SO I KNEW IT WAS MERRILL LEE. MERRILL NEXT TIME YOU DIE.

Cabbed there. I had brownie with cookies and cream ice cream, and thanks to JW for letting me eat half of his mudpie, it was freak awesome!! Cabbed home with him after that, while Mel bussed home. He only had 10 bucks and his EZlink cause Mel stole his iPod and his wallet. Tsk Mel. Anyway we were damn worried our collective 30 bucks wouldn't cover the ride home cause there was a jam. Thank goodness it did though. Anyway I had fun, we have to do it again!!!

Am done with Lit essay and PI, and am going to heck Econs essay, so that's about it for tonightz.

NAOMI YANG IS AWESOME x3456789.

Damn shit ass tired.

Towning today with Khoonnie was fun! Thanks for lunch and the awesome company.

Damn irritated with myself today. Keep dropping things / knocking things over / hitting myself / typing wrongly. RARRR. Tried to run in the gym today but my stupid leg kept hurting so gave up after 3k and went to do abs and dips instead. H8 ):

K just feeling miserable now IDK WHY. Naomi Yang is the <3

I swear I'm never gonna eat spicy food on a training day ever again. I felt like there was a dragon in my stomach that kept breathing fire.

Back to being pwnzed by math. Spent the last hour sitting here staring at AP&GP questions, and have only actually completed ONE question. Pathetic!!!

P.S. (when we saw Joanne coming back from j8)
Us: what were you doing there?
Jo: Myself.

NEW PHONE! Finally. Damn sexy red.

Front.

Back. (I love the golf-ball dents on the back, damn sexy please.)

Anyway Swim EXCO interview today. Was pretty okay, though I must admit there were more questions to answer than I imagined. Hung out with Mel and Steph and Edith for a bit after that, and Edith left for History makeup, then came across Jian Ying, Jin Sei and Jen Wei. JY and JW wanted to go back so while Steph headed home, the four of us walked to the MRT station. OMG Mel and JW walk really really slow please. Like seriously I've never met any other people who walk slower than those two. Anyway JY and I were like -.- cos we'd turn around each time and find them like 20m behind us?? D:

Trained back with JW, and he's seriously the biggest craphead ever, I swear. Anyway all lectures tmr so no homework due! Am damn happy.

Baix.

Training today was a depressing affair x 27563453 because the main set was so darn long, and would've been alright on a normal day, but I really wasn't in the mood to sprint and all. Anyway halfway through the second set, I suddenly got it into my head that I would really really really like to quit swimming cause its such a pointless sport, and that thought just wouldn't go away. Damn I need to stop being negative and train as hard as other people. So was in a pretty bad mood, but Edith made me laugh cause she totally swam into my back during the vertical kick set and just started laughing madly. Then she turned around and told me "look at Steph!!!" cause steph was attempting to do the vertical kick properly (E and I obv weren't) but was kinda sinking so she had her face completely in the water instead of above it. Looked freaking hilarious after Edith mentioned it, and we both went underwater and started waving madly to Steph, who surfaced with a damn loud EXCUSE ME?!?! Was damn funny, though it doesn't sound so now.

OKAY I M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING FOR ECONS TUTORIAL THING TOMORROW NOT BLOGGING SOMEONE TELL ME TO GO OFFLINE AND STUDY NOWWWWWWWWWWW.

This is really random but I'm hungry. I really should be going to sleep.

Okay so since Mel has been suanning me about the length of my posts, I'm going to attempt to pwn her in frequency of posts. (:

Anyway lets start from Saturday, which was ORA. Reached school at like 740am although Tshirt collection started at 7, because I'd mistakenly believed that I could get someone else to collect my shirt for me. As you can tell I obviously had to get my shirt by myself, and they only had L and XL by the time I got there. Got an L, which was actually as okay size so wtv.

The walk-a-jogathon was essentially slackfest for Mel and I. We headed down the driveway along with everyone else at the beginning, but as we were halfway down RI's back driveway, it began to dawn on us that 1.6km was waay further than we were willing to walk, so we just stopped and deliberated on a better course of action. Saw Seetow goofing around and imitating all the small boys who were running, then turned around and were horrified to see the whole bunch of RG girls running towards us. Were so traumatised that we escaped into RJ and encountered Ning who was supposed to be at council camp (the word here is SUPPOSED.) Talked to her for a bit then headed back to RI for the actual ORA. Was totally the worst ORA I have ever been to. It was more or less confined to the canteen and the hall, and considering how freaking small the RI canteen is..... You get the idea. Basically hung around eating chocolate fondue from the RJpolo stall (Thanks for Mr O for the treat!), bubble tea from RJcanoe, and chicken wings from some random parents' stall. Went to find JW after that, and pinched 11bucks worth of coupons from him. Had a coconut each, after which Mel spent much of the rest of our time there persuading the polo guys to throw water bombs at her brother at the RIpolo booth. Had to leave after that cause I needed to get home in time to leave for training.

The week up to today has been pretty much the same, although the highlight has been, and is that there's no PE this week! How awesome is that. That means 2 free blocks first thing tmr morning! Awesome Awesome.

Rarr have to edit AQ now. So much for my long, ownage post.

So 2.4 today! Succeeded in running the whole way, ended up running 10mins 50. Pretty happy with my time :D Stayed back with Mel and Steph in school to study again, I think we were quite productive. Managed to do some econs. Its strange why the school's so empty on a Thursday afternoon, its as if there's no one around. Canteen was strangely empty. Saw Tom and Jen Wei studying so Mel went to pester JW and I just sat there and listened to their nonsense.

Anyway I'm really tired now and I don't know why!):

I daresay today was quite a productive day! Stayed back after school for the swim meeting, but hung around with Alina + Chen Xuan + Class for the time before the meeting. Went down to the amphi to mug with Nana after that cause there was some song dedication crap going on and the music was serious noise pollution. Chen Xuan came along like 5 mins after we sat down, and we ended up brainstorming for the proposal thing that all those running for swim exco have to write. I think we have some pretty cool ideas :D CX had to leave at about 250 for the Bluebloods meeting, so Nana and I started mugging. I kinda decided to take a nap at one point, so ended up knocking out on the bench for about half an hour. Had just woken up when Mel came back from Polo training. Then Jinsei came, which effectively meant that I couldn't get much studying done anymore.

We ended up trying to jump up the wall at the side of the amphi, and only JS could do it with 2 legs, him being major tall and all. Mel tried, and ended up in this really unglam position against the wall, and knocked both her shins quite badly. Bet she's going to have some really big bruises tmr. Sat there and talked some more crap, while listening to music from JS' phone. He was trying to make us guess the titles of the songs, and I SWEAR I didn't know 80% of them! Think he just listens to weird songs.

Anyway digress: RJ POLO BEAT HWACH 14-7!! RAFFLES FTW :D

K then after that Tom appeared at the amphi, and JS went over and offered to do this thing where he holds you and swings you round and round. So anyway Tom said yes, and you should have seen his face when JS started! I thought he was going to die, his face got all scrunched up and really really red. When JS let him down her just lay there, rolled over and started laughing. Then got up and pretended to not be able to walk properly. (Actually I think he really couldn't walk properly) Mel, Jonlim and I just stood at the side and laughed our heads off. Srsly the highlight of my day HAHAHA. Headed home shortly after that, Mel walked me to the MRT station, thanks!

There's 2.4 first thing tmr morning. Am going to attempt to run the whole way this year without stopping at all (Which will totally be a first for me) TRYING TO SIGN UP FOR THE INTERSCHOOLS BIATHLON NOW and the payment thing is so annoying, I swear.

BACK FROM CLASS CAMP. Was totally awesome, loved that it really gave our class an opportunity to bond and have fun together, as one group, and not as 2, like we usually are. I'm really lazy to blog about the entire thing because there's just so much to say, and I don't think I'd be able to fully describe everything anyway. Lets just say that the friendships I've formed in this class are already awesome, and there's this HUGE potential for them to become even better and more awesome. I know that I can always come back to my class when things go wrong, and that there will be people willing to be there for me!

Its amazing how a ropes course and height element can bring out the best in people. I loved how everyone was standing below, looking up with the sun in their eyes, and shouting encouragement and help to the people climbing! I get this feeling that the class managed to bond even through the simple activity, and watching everyone make it to the top of the height element, or the end of the ropes course really felt damn amazing, knowing that though they were pretty much individual activities in the end, we were still able to achieve them as a class.

Travelling to Ubin was pretty much slack and relaxing, talking crap on the bus, watching the islands and the sea go by on the boat, and finally singing songs like nobody's business at the top of our voices during the 30min+ walk to our campsite on the other side of the island. More or less had the rest of the day to ourselves, so busied ourselves with building the basha (which took a lot of teamwork cos we had damn sucky materials) and cooking dinner. Lay around in the basha before dinner and attempted to play truth or dare, but ended up becoming more of a gossiping session instead :D Dinner was waay better than I thought it would be, so kudos to those who cooked it! Guowei impressed us all with his "gallantry and chivalry" (Note that I'm purely quoting him) by holding an umbrella over our plates while we ate so the drizzle wouldn't wet our food. Sat at the amphitheatre after dinner and just talked, and like played cards and stuff. One the facilitators came and told us that cards weren't allowed so ): all the cards had to go. We lay around and talked, and when the sky cleared, there were SOOOOOO many stars in the sky, it was totally the prettiest thing you'll ever ever see. I wanted to take a picture of them but the camera couldn't capture the minute pinpricks of light ): Anyway we decided to sleep (literally!) under the stars! And got woken up at 330am by the stupid rooster crowing. Was like really cold cos my shirt was damp with dew and the night was quite cold.

Uhm in the morning packed everything away and got ready for the kayaking! Kayaking was quite fun if a little retarded cos we had to tie the boats together and they kept snaking. Plus the left side of the thing had stronger people so the boat kept going towards the right. Lol so left side had to keep back pedalling so that we could turn left to keep straight. (did that just make sense??) But yea I loved the teamwork and the retarded singing and name calling: "RAFFLES, RAFFLES!" "CRYSTAL, CRYSTAL!" etc. Quite hilarious I must say.

Anyway after Kayaking we went back and showered and stuff, then came the major camwhoring. I'll just let the pictures do the talking.

YMCA!


Please don't ask me what we were doing.


Nana!


Nana cool.

We r ur superwomen. Damn cool please.



CAMOUFLAGE!!

Cos we're cool.

So as you can see we had a lot of fun! Joanne just suggested that we have a class chalet. Freak awesome idea, yo.

Anyway training tmr morning and I'm totally dead from tonight's already so I'm out.

Wow today was a fun day! Morning lessons were the same old same old, with Joanne still smelling of Cod Liver Oil D: There were house speeches during the assembly block, where the campaigners had 30seconds of airtime each to promote themselves to us. 30 seconds each doesn't seem like a lot, but I think they all did a really good job so kudos to them!

Met Mel, Jinsei and Alina at the Amphi where they were doing up Jinli's campaign board, Jinli had this really cute ET toy, and Jinsei was uhm, trying to phone home with ET. Headed down to J8 with Mel and Jinsei for lunch, decided to have lunch at the new Food Junction (which by the way is alright, but has these really annoying orange lights on the floor and ceiling and even on the tops of some tables, which makes you wonder if you've stepped into orange land cause everyone is bathed in this interesting orange glow that makes them look vaguely like... boiled tomatoes, for lack of a better metaphor) Anyway Jinli appeared as I was buying my lunch! So had quite a nice lunch talking to Jinli, Mel and Jinsei. Jinli was telling me about Jeff Dunham and the dead terrorist mannequin. I almost died laughing, srsly. Had fun gossiping and telling lame jokes! Such fun friends I have.

Cabbed down to ACS(I) after that to watch the polo match between ACJC and RJ. I spent some time wondering where the pool was, and was amazed to find that Jinli was actually smart enough to find it!! :o Decided to do some exploring before the match actually started so left Jinsei to look after our bags and went to find a toilet. As it turns out Jinli was spoofing us when she said she knew where the toilet was cause she led us down this long dark corridor that ended in a dead end! (I think she said, "I bring you to a secret place!!) ): Trooped back to the boarding house dining hall where we were trying to watch the already started polo match in the comfort of the aircon, but got chased out by some guy, so headed back up to the stands to watch. We were like totally running back up cause we didn't want to miss more of the match than we could help, so Mel and I ran out the nearest door to the staircase that we came out of, but smart Jinli ran to the other door right at the end of the row of doors (I.e. the one furthest away from us) cause it was open, and ran back towards us looking very triumphant. You should've seen the look on her face when she found out that we'd gotten out first.

Anyway. The stands were freaking hot! Like srsly, I could just feel my butt cooking. Anyway settled down to watch the match, when suddenly Jinli piped up, "Mel, how many quarters are there in the game?" HAHAHA Supreme Intelligence. The match was an exciting one! We ended up beating ACJC by a really small margin - 6-5 to us. Wow scary. Anyway then we went down to the cafe to grab some drinks and ice cream, and then Jinli and Mel and I headed to the Astro Turf so I could do a quick catch up with Alex who was helping to train the girls' touch rug team. Talked to him for like 10 mins (It was really good to see you again!!) and then went back to the pool to look for.. Jinsei (I'm lying) and met Jinsei coming out of the cafe, and then Tom, heading to the cafe. Mel was going to go back to Bishan with Tom and Jinsei in a cab, but I think JS pangsehed them at the last minute for the rest of the polo team, so Mel and Tom caught a ride from some other polo guy. Walked out to the busstop with Jianying and JS and all that, then Jinli and I got onto 14 which more or less brings us all the way back. We had a super long talk in the bus, that was really nice, was great talking to her! Met her neighbour like halfway through the ride, and she was all "I don't want to have to walk home with him!!" I provided a solution in the end though: Get off at my stop and pretend to wait for 12 with me. It worked anyway so we're smart! (OUt of character for Jinli :D)

Wow this is a detailed entry. Anyway that's about it for today, class camp tmr and Friday! I can't wait :D :D Need to go finish packing, so I'll just stop here.

(I think I'm falling sick. Headache, sorethroat. Very bad.)

Anyway first real ISLE meeting yesterday morning, 8am. Turns out that we're the pioneer group of students going to Tibet, so we're really on unchartered territory! AM VERY EXCITED, cannot wait to go!!! Anyway the first introduction exercise was pretty amusing. We all started off with nametags made out of masking tape, and we had to go to someone, introduce ourselves, then swop nametags. Go up to another person and introduce yourself as the person whose nametag have. As you can imagine, it got pretty messy, much like a game of broken telephone. As we went around the room reintroducing ourselves, there were quite a few laughs. I realised that these are the people I'm going to be working with for the next year or so, and I'm pretty much glad that they're all nice people, even awesome people once I get to know them.

So we watched one video, and one slideshow. The video was about this Australian girl who seemed to have such a hard life. It sounded pretty bad at first, like how she had to eat dried cereal for breakfast cause they always run out of milk.. But then they started flashing clips of all these African families living crowded in really small huts and not having enough food etc, and showed the Australian girl complaining about how bad her life was cause she had to load the dishwasher after dinner, and how her iPod was only 1GB etc. We were all sitting there going, what's your problem manz, your life is so much better than those people who don't even have proper sanitation and shelter, and we suddenly realised that we're all pretty much like that Australian girl. We all complain that we have so much work, and that our mp3 players are spoiling etc, but don't ever see that we're so much more fortunate than like refugees and stuff. We don't even have to look as far as Africa, we're even way more fortunate than half the people in Indonesia. I realise I complain a lot D:

Anyway I finished all thirteen episodes of GossipGirl that are currently out in 3 days = :o :o but yeah I've been mugging too! In between my headaches and maths and PW and like econs. Wow I sound like a mugger! Guess there's a first for everything. PLEASE DONT LET ME GET SICK TMR BEFORE CLASS CAMP. I WILL DIEEEEEE. WILL SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT PROMISE PINKY PROMISE I SWEEEAAARRRRRR.