Funorama today! First with Dorcas and Daniel, then with Joce and Nat, and then Mel. Was altogether quite a fun day. Got to see Dorcas, Joce and Nat again! Super awesome hanging out with them, then Mel came and we started our usual nonsense of walking around, talking crap, and buying lots of food and ACJC paraphernalia with the HUGE amount of tickets that Mel had thanks to JW (sry I can't spell his name lol) I think we had around $200 in total. Spent the last half an hour of the Funorama buying AC souvenirs like mugs (3!), pencilcases (3!), files (1), notebooks (2!) That's mad huh. Anyway I took a grand total of 4 pictures today but I'm lazy to get my camera so I'll post them another day.

Anyway I forgot to post that I got into China (Tibet) for ISLE. China doesn't sound so appealing, but Tibet sounds sooooo much cooler. Quite a few people I know, like Chels, YvonneLian, Eddy, Nicole, Zhiping... uh can't remember already. Should be damn fun overall! So from next Monday will be crazy planning and all that to prepare for the trip in December! So excited, I'm even looking forward to the work. Btw according to Lian's blog, it'll be like -16degrees at night in Tibet = :o :o :o >< but I like the cold so I hope we'll just have alright accommodation and huge thick blankets. Will go read up on Tibet.

This is from Cleo. Sick of being led on by men who act like they like you one minute and ignore you the next? David Smiedt tells you how to spot a jerk from a mile away. (Of course, I'd always had an inkling of these people existing, but never really gave much thought to them till this year)

THE LOOK: ..Gregarious in a muted way, you get the feeling he's continually about to leave for somewhere more interesting. Yet his affability makes you want to ask if you can tag along because somehow you know he isn't going to be issuing invitations. ...he's just uninterested enough for you to want to know more about him.

THE PHILOSOPHY: ...present a mix of ambiguity and attraction that his quarry can't help but be intrigued. He seems interested but before the woman concerned has a chance to signal whether its game on or not, he retreats into ambivalence. ...his guile lies in being able to send signals better mixed than the perfect martini. ...combine this with a bit of flirtation, gazes held a little too long and the odd compliment...

There's more but I can't be bothered to type it all out. Was just asking myself why all this sounds a little too familiar. Guess you win some and lose some in life. This time is definitely 100% lose some.

I need a good holiday away from all this (yes I'm tiring of school though its only March and though I said not a month ago that I liked school. Granted, its not really the lessons and my class that I don't like, its just that one thing that irks me, like that one thorn in my side. Its getting unbearable.) and that is why I totally cannot wait for class camp. I know its only for 2 days, but I can't wait to go high with my class, and talk crap, without having to worry about school for two days, and sit around and just talk. CLASS CAMP CLASS CAMP I can't wait. (Somehow I know that having such high expectations before camp means I'm going to end up selling myself short, but wtv.)

Anyway I'm sick of typing so bye.

Wow Fridays are just the worst days in the whole week because we have 5 blocks straight with zero breaks. We resort to running down to the canteen before Geog lectures to get food to eat during the lectures. I bet the teachers know exactly what we're doing, but are just being nice and closing two eyes.

Anyway GP andPW today were funny! GP was funny cos Joanne and I kept saying the same things to suan Jianying. Like when Ms Uma said "All the sons shall be in charge of the discussion today" (Here I have to explain that she groups us by distributing Happy Families cards, and the people who have the cards that make one family would be one group.) So after Ms Uma said that, Joanne and I said simultaneously, "There're no sons, only sunrise!" (Inside joke XD) The class erupted in laughter it was srsly damn funny. PW was amusing too cause we had PI group presentations, and we actually thought our presentation was pretty alright, until we got to the part about the manageability of the project. Points written by Jianying.

1. date of activity must suit the time of all participants.
2. Might not be interested parties.
3. Might inconveniece general public.
4. Approval must be sought to use venues.
5. Funding and finding volunteers might be an issue.

So after reading all those points, you find that they're actually against the idea of an amazing race, rather than trying to convince the teacher that our idea's feasible! So essentially our group got pwned by Jianying. >< Total self owanage.

And training today was the slackest its ever been forever. Hopped in at 5plus, swam like 150m = 3 laps, when there was suddenly lightning from the relatively clear if slightly overcast sky. We were all obviously damn happy, so we got out and sat on pool deck for like 20 mins, and coach said, GET BACK IN ITS OKAY ALREADY. So we were all like ): and got back in slightly unwillingly. Continued with warmup, and swam like another 300m = 6 laps, and there was lighting again! (none that I saw but apparently there was so wtv) And we very gleefully got up again and sat on the side until like 620, where we managed to coerce coach into letting us go home. Therefore today was in essence, slack to the max day. (We still have to do tonight's hard ass set tmr morning though ):

Tmr's ACJC's Fun-O-Rama! Can't wait to see JOCE again (:

I need to go sleep NOW cause I won't last half a day tmr if I don't. Baizz.

n

Suddenly feeling all ): and idk why. I feel damn (insert suitable feeling that I can't think of here) seeing so many people I know preparing for campaigning. Dumb, but true.

Anyway today was a pretty alright day. The silvermembers meeting today was good, its nice to see the whole event taking shape and coming together to smoothly. We also managed to settle some matters so kudos to everyone.

I'm sitting here attempting to revise econs, and the question suddenly pops into my mind: How did we go from that to this? From talking everyday for two weeks, to nothing at all? Idk anything that's going on with you now, its as if there hasn't been a proper ending to all this. (was there even anything to end in the first place??) Things feel really awkward now, even saying hi is strained and forced, and I'd rather we'd just ignored one another when that greeting comes. (Though I wish like hell we'd said hi if we didn't) I guess I don't really care if you see this and know who I'm talking about. Its just something I've been wanting to say for a while, but didn't know how to put into words.

Life at the moment is.. strangely intangible. Its there and yet its not, I'm doing things, yet my heart isn't completely in the task. I used to be so completely focused on the things that I wanted to do, but now its as if I can't seem to concentrate on anything for prolonged periods of time. I want to know when and how I've changed. (Can someone give me the answer because this is one question I can't simply Wikipedia) I laugh and everything, but today I realised that much of the laughter is false. "Laughed" at something, before I realised that I didn't even think it was funny. I knew it was meant to be funny, so I laughed, but deep down I knew that I'd rather have kept quiet. Maybe I should go back to being unresponsive and unenthusiastic like before. It seems so much easier to clam up and not let anyone in, to just live my life for me, without worrying about what other people think. Sometimes I think the biggest flaw I've developed over the years is that I care too much about others, and what they think, what they're going through, and maybe I've become so focused on other people, on helping them, that I've forgotten to help myself. When I look at myself now.. I see this poor excuse for a 16 year old. Immature in much that I do, and unable to respond appropriately to things.

Sometimes I wish I could tell someone all these things, and have them reassure me that everything will work out, and that things will be alright, but burdening someone else with my problems just seems so.. selfish and irresponsible, as if offloading my problems onto someone else means that I can wash my hands of them and start anew. If only everything in life were that easy.

Have a lot more to say but I think this post sounds way too emo as it is, so I'll just end off. I hate feeling like this. Feels like I"m stuck in the same old rut, not making any headway anywhere.

ANGELS or DEVILS

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time - I will fall
Into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in - give it up
- and then
Take a breath - make it deep
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one
That could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold.

Won't deny it, I'm disappointed. There's still ISLE and a whole lot more to look forward to, so its more about looking to the future now than dwelling on the past. Really wanted this but guess it wasn't meant to be.

I knew that if I'd gotten in I'd probably have had to drop swimming altogether, and when I ask myself whether I really want to drop something that I've been doing for more than half my life, my answer is no. I think I'd really miss the pool, the physical activity, the friends and the company. Stopping now would be like.. losing a part of my life. I know we complain a lot about swimming and spend half our lives moaning that we want to quit, but when it comes to the crunch, I guess swimming's still something that's important to all of us. Getting past the interviews would have been nice, but this is JC. Being realistic, I think I'd put studies first, and swimming second. Council would've meant dropping swimming altogether = losing a part of my life. So I guess that's the silver lining in my grey cloud. I've managed to get into ISLE anyway, and I think I'm really lucky to get in, because many other people who wanted to get in didn't make it, so I guess its alright. Wanting to get into both just seems.. greedy and selfish, which is what I actually thought I was being when I applied for both. I'll just put my heart into ISLE now, because its no doubt going to be as fulfilling and exciting, and I'll definitely enjoy it too. Plus BW has really capable people whom I'm sure deserve to get in much more than I do, so congrats to all those who made it past the interviews, and have fun during campaign week. (:

Don't be surprised if I don't smile too much in school tomorrow though. The disappointment is still there, its just below the surface. (not too deep below though.)

The Easter weekend was quite a productive one!

Friday was.. slack cause I didn't really have anything much to do. Did a bit of studying for like econs and math and geog. Didn't train in the morning cause I really really wanted to sleep in. Headed to the gym in the afternoon, did lots of sit ups because I've been eating cheesecake like everyday, so felt really fat. My abs are still aching now ): Had dinner at the club after gymming, then went to Katong Mall to look at some furniture with mum.

Saturday was.... slack in the morning, cause mom was doing some stuff, but the afternoon was fun! We went to Suntec with the original intention of only going to but mom's ipod (My mother got an ipod WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!), but ended up getting waylaid by other sales along the way, like the Six sale along citylink where I got like 4 pairs of earrings and 2 bangles. Got the ipod after much deliberation as to whether the black or silver one would be nicer (she chose silver in the end), then headed to the convention centre where there were lots of other sales going on. Got 5 pairs of shoes, 3 mom's, 1 mine, and 1 jon's. Went to the room next door and got really good bargains like A|X blouses and a Old Navy pullover! Super happy with those. Decided to go home cause was really tired from all that walking (I'd make a really lousy taitai) so headed back towards the MRT station (Mom likes to take the MRT when we go out for the day because its a real hassle to park) and got waylaid by another shop! Where I bought another top and another pair of shoes. Altogether a very productive day :D :D

Today was just lunch with my 3rd aunt and uncle, and back to the abovementioned furniture shop to check something else out, and back home to read Othello (albeit really slowly because I had to stop every line to read the meaning of the line). Tuition at 5 as usual, where I had quite a good time with the girls (: Our tuition class kinda sucks now though, cause Jia left, and we have 3 new additions who totally don't talk to us at all :\ ANYWAY I felt really stupid at tuition, cause I was taking really long to get all the math concepts, and I really felt like crying. Like OMG this is the kind of stuff we have to deal with for A Levels??!?!?!! What nonsense.

So that was my weekend! I have to go to school early tmr for the ISLE meeting ): And council campaigners list comes out tmr :o :o :o I'm really really scared, but I don't suppose I can do anything about it at this point in time, so I'll just take things as they come.

Alright off to read Othello!

Social Life at Hogwarts

Everyone, except the Slytherins, like you. You are friendly, nice, and a well-rounded person. Your studies aren't that important, but you pull of decent grades. You live your life with risks and don't think about the consequences. Friends mean a lot to you. Your friends love you because you are always the one who they can talk to.

Harry: He is in love with you. You're the one he wants to be with forever. He's tried to push you away, but you refused to leave him. Despite the danger that comes with being his girlfriend, he's too smitten with you to let you go and is glad you are willing to face the danger to be with him.

Ron: He loves you as a little sister. He admits to having a crush on you before, but has stronger feelings for Hermione. He acts as an older brother to you.

Hermione: She is one of your best gal pals. She always scolds you for not doing the best in your studies, but she is your friend just the same. She's very happy for you and Harry. She secretly has a crush on Ron, but she won't admit it. And neither will he. You're the one who's going to put them together.

Ginny: She secretly hates you. You stole Harry and one of her older brothers too. She knows she's overreacting, but she doesn't care. She hates you and shows it when no one is around. But when someone is around she acts like the sweetest little girl.

Neville: Thinks you are great and has a crush on you, but he's too shy to do anything. Plus, you're with Harry now.

Fred and George: They love you. As a friend though. You're one of the few priviledged people who get to help them with their pranks. They are glad you are with Harry, but sort of wish you ended up with Ron instead.

Oliver Wood: He knows you, but doesn't really talk to you. All he knows is that you are Harry's girlfriend.

Cedric Diggory: Him, like Oliver Wood, knows you, but doesn't talk to you. Or should I say he knew you. That is before he died.

Cho Chang: She is slightly jealous of your relationship with Harry. Cedric died and she was left alone, and her and Harry didn't work out either. She is nice to you, but doesn't really like or hate you.

Lavender Brown: She doesn't like you because she thinks Ron likes you more than a friend. She hates Hermione more than you though, if that helps?

Draco Malfoy: He doesn't like you at all. You seem like a goody-two-shoes to him. He dislikes you even more because you're Potter's girlfriend. All in all, he doesn't talk to you or have any contact with you whatsoever.

Pansy: Doesn't talk to you and hates you. Period.

Crabbe and Goyle: Don't know you.

Dumbledore: He likes you and thinks you are strong-willed and perfect for Harry.

McGonagall: She thinks your an average skilled witch, she doesn't really notice you that much.

Hagrid: He adores you and constantly invites you to help him with his creatures. He loves that you and Harry are together.

Snape: He hates you. Loathes you. Despises you. He thinks you are very poor skilled and dislikes you even more for being Harry's girlfriend. He loves taking points away from you.

Voldemort: You are on his list of people to kill. You make the top 5. Not exactly a good thing, but what'd you expect being Harry's girlfriend and all.

Reputation: Harry's Girlfriend.
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Wow the school week's over already. We've been having waaay too many holidays this first part of the year, and after Easter, there're practically NONE until June. Damn suck kthx.

So I thought coach wasn't going to be there for training today cause Adriel told me that he went for ASEAN cup. I happily ponned training only to be informed be Joel just now that coach was actually at training D: But I had a good time talking to Mel, so all's good :D

This week's been pretty much the same old same old. Nothing new, though we're actually srsly starting work now, and even econs is getting hard ): I took super long to understand the new set of econs lecture notes that they gave out ): Math.. Math is just ??? because I totally do not get anything please. I go into lectures / tutorials going ??? and come out going ??!!!*@&^$*#@(*!!!! because I still do not get it.

So its Easter tmr anyway, and I'll enjoy my slack weekend at home while everyone else is up in Vietnam stressing about the competition :D :D :D (I'm consoling myself.)

The big pimple on my forehead isn't going away. I hate people who attempt to act cool when the look doesn't even suit their face. I got into ISLE! I'm doing the aquathlon with AudreyTan. Random string of sentences because thats what happened this week but i'm lazy to put in into full explanation.

Zai Jian.

Am damn miserable now cos my back and left foot hurt like (*&^&#^%(#@%&#$nb!!!! I'm sitting damn straight now so my back doesn't just wither and die. And limping around the house because I can't put any weight on the toes. Don't ask me how or why they hurt, just just do so ): ): ): ): ): I think I'll go triggerball.

//edit

Jon says I shouldn't triggerball because the part that hurts is like nerves = i might become paralysed or something if i keep triggerballing. No relief for me tonight I guess. ): Doesn't help that you're not talking to me either.

NAOMI YANG FTW!!! Thanks for being there this past week, and no matter what happens, you're as much my cosmos as I am yours, and WO AI NI many many (:

Today was pretty funz. Got dragged down to Isetan Scotts to buy some cooker, but ended up getting a new watch = yay!! Been looking for a nice watch for a long time.

Headed down to Bugis at 1 and had lunch with Daniel, Nana, Jing and Eddy, then went to the pool to help choreograph the ASEANcup dance! I think it is vvv naise! :D :D I mean though we only have the first part, but its total ownage. AND I have Get Low stuck in my head now. I feel like dancing hahahahaha. She hit the flo, next thing you know, shawty got low low low low low. How awesome is that.

Anyway I realised I hadn't done econs essay today thanks to Daniel = omg waturf = I will do it tmr I promise!

K bored with blogging, will go.. uh plan econs essay! HAHA right.

Today was spent slacking around the house until 4 because mom decided that she wanted to go to the gym, so I tagged along. Had a pretty good gym session, considering I haven't gymmed for ages. Had dinner with with Gareth, Benho and Aunty Gwen cos mum met her friend for dinner at the club too.

I realised I hadn't been to SSC for ages, and when I walked into it for the first time in over a month, this huge wave of nostalgia suddenly hit me. Roar I still miss SSC no matter how awesome training at Swimfast is now. That got me looking at the photos from Jaan's farewell.. But life goes on anyhow. Now John and Khoonnie's Jiaolian are both leaving, and yeah, I understand what all of them must feel like to lose a coach. It really sucks to lose someone who's been there for you for years, and who understands you, your moods, and your body better than yourself. It sucks to have your team break up, cos those are people whom you've been with for what feels like forever, and you're practically like family.

SSCswimteam is damn sad now, the elite squad is HUGE, and really good, btw. Miss you guys.

Anyway! Tomorrow will be spent at Bugis library with Logs Comm planning BW Inter-OG games, and then I'll head to the pool at about 3 to help choreograph the SAC ASEAN Cup dance! Sounds like a fun day huh. I can't wait to see what Joel comes up with HAHA :D

My muscles are kinda dead now. ): Off to finish Geog notesssss.

<3 forever.

I just finished watching 斗牛.要不要! Damn sweet totally awesome :D


Because he's totally the hottest guy around (:

Hung out with Yao and Omi today at Omi's house, had freaking a lot of fun! We watched Corner With Love and baked 2 batches of the most awesome cookies :D Chocolate chip oatmeal and oatmeal raisin. I heart oatmeal raisin cookies cause they're totally awesome. Anyway just hanging out, talking and laughing was really great today, and I really enjoyed their company. Thanks for inviting me over :D We took retarded pictures but Omi has them all so ): Will post them when she uploads them!

Too lazy to blog anymore. Zaijian.

Wow the holidays are here already, and it really doesn't feel like it. It feels as if school's just beginning, and we suddenly have a break. Call me a freak or whatever but at this point in time, I like school more than I like staying at home. I guess its the people and the things we do in school that make me like it.

Anyway I had my first 2 events for SNAG today. I can sum them up in 1 word. SUCKED. 100back would've been pretty alright if I hadn't slipped off the block -.- I never slipped once during all the practice starts I had, and I just had to slip during the event itself. Ended up doing a 1.10.high. I'm very sure I would have done a 1.09 if not for that dumb slip.

100 fly was horrid too, did a 1.07.52 I think. Felt really sluggish, couldn't move my arms properly. Split 31.20 at the 50m mark, which meant that I wouldn't do a pb. Was 3rd in my age group after TingTing and TingWen. Still qualified for SEA Age though thank goodness.

So that was today in a nutshell. Its amazing how2 events can take so much out of you, but I'm really bushed, so I'll prob call it a day. Hope I'll do better tmr.

(I feel like a pig, I just woke up, and I'm supposed to be at training, but I was honestly too tired to go.)

Anyway so Fri (RACHIE's BIRTHDAY!) was spent mugging in school with Mel who very awesomely stayed back with me until 730pm! Chris came to join us sometime in that period, and we had a pretty good time mugging. The various CCAs having their camp came down to the canteen for dinner at around 6pm, and we promptly had entertainment (if you could call it that) in the form of ChinHwee. She was basically continuing her search for that elusive triple-science-h2-math boyfriend. So Mel and I told her that Chris took triple science and French! You should've seen her face light up. Chris had this look of horror on his face. We then dropped the bombshell by telling her that he only took H1 math! She couldn't quite believe it :D Anyway she left, disappointed, after a while. That was my evening entertainment. Mum and Jon arrived at about 730 so we headed for dinner with the relatives. Was a pretty good evening of hanging out with them, and watching Tom&Jerry with my nephew who's like 7. Got home at around 12 and just fell into bed. (Obviously didn't train the next morning)

Sunday was Rachie's birthday party! Pretty fun just hanging out with the swimming dudes from both SSC and SAC. It was damn awesome to see some people again. I left halfway through for tuition but came back after that, and stayed there until 9. The food was srsly awesome, and Rachie had a good time opening her presents and re wrapping them when she was done. (correction, I rewrapped them.)

And so Monday and today followed Thurs and Friday's timetables. Pretty uneventful days. Human Geog test on Monday, in which I wrote more than I have written in half an hour, EVER = 2 whole sides! Those who know how small my handwriting is would know that that's quite a feat. Eddy injured herself during PE yesterday, and now she can't train for 3 months! That's like her whole freaking season. ): ): ): Anyway I was kinda down/emo yesterday in school, and think I kinda made Kevin a bit worried. :| Sorry about that. But thanks for asking me if I was alright in school today.

Headed to RI for lunch with Khoonnie, Anina, Danny, Jing and Edith. Was nice just to spend time with people I like. Shared a cheesecake that cost 4BUCKS with Khoonnie. Thanks for the treat :D Then went back to school and hung out with Khoonnie until 230pm when I had to leave. Thanks for always being there when I need someone to talk to, and for bitching with me too! (We're both such failures in love its amazing. I guess that just means we have another common topic hahah.)

Came home and crashed until now. I really should be revising math and econs for tmr, but I can't seem to concentrate. I keep thinking about other things, that shouldn't even be worth my time. Why do other people have all the luck when it comes to ____________? I want a _______ too. Sheesh.

Alright enough of that, off to attempt to mug.