So prelims are (just about) over, and since I'm so screwed for Lit paper 2 I suppose it doesn't really count as a paper? Does that even make sense? It does to me ):
Kinda hard to believe that all those years of school have come down to this, the last month and a half of madness, where all the studying or non-studying that you did culminates in 9 papers. What you do in the exam hall a month and a half from now will make or break your future, your choice of uni etc. How is it that everything comes down to this? It doesn't even seem remotely fair; what if a small misreading of a passage or question were to precipitate into some huge mistake, one which you don't even realise you've made till the end of the paper? And by then all you can do is swear furiously in your head (or out loud, whichever suits you) and hope that everything else you did right will be enough to bolster the mistakes. Even that is sometimes too much a stretch of the imagination when you're writing an econs, geog, lit, or gp essay. Hey what dyou know, that's pretty much all my subjects! In essence: its do or die.
Also scary how one small mistake can affect the rest of your life. I (think I) know what I want to do with my life, but what if, just what if, I make the wrong decision? I mean you could spend your whole life doing the right thing (not that I'm saying that I have, but this being a supposition, we shall assume the ceteris paribus condition), and in making that single wrong decision, ruin your whole life. Something akin to the butterfly effect? idk. Anyway point was that suppose I realised halfway through my course of study in the uni that I hated my major, I couldn't restart, could I? I mean technically I could, but that would waste a hell lot of time and money, both of which I doubt I really have.. Its things like these that make me afraid, but how can you be afraid of both the present and the future? At the same time I miss the past and have great expectations for the future, so how does all that fit together? I know I'm rambling but that's what happens when you're steeped in boredom and monotony. I don't know how people can be muggers all the way, don't you have something better to do with your life? The prospect of 1.5 more months of this is insanely... mundane, oxymoronic for lack of a better expression. I flip through my notes going, hey I know this already, I shouldn't have to read it again should I? And then I think, crap I think I'd better, what if I've missed something out??? ..and so the boredom continues.
....back to Stats ):
Kinda hard to believe that all those years of school have come down to this, the last month and a half of madness, where all the studying or non-studying that you did culminates in 9 papers. What you do in the exam hall a month and a half from now will make or break your future, your choice of uni etc. How is it that everything comes down to this? It doesn't even seem remotely fair; what if a small misreading of a passage or question were to precipitate into some huge mistake, one which you don't even realise you've made till the end of the paper? And by then all you can do is swear furiously in your head (or out loud, whichever suits you) and hope that everything else you did right will be enough to bolster the mistakes. Even that is sometimes too much a stretch of the imagination when you're writing an econs, geog, lit, or gp essay. Hey what dyou know, that's pretty much all my subjects! In essence: its do or die.
Also scary how one small mistake can affect the rest of your life. I (think I) know what I want to do with my life, but what if, just what if, I make the wrong decision? I mean you could spend your whole life doing the right thing (not that I'm saying that I have, but this being a supposition, we shall assume the ceteris paribus condition), and in making that single wrong decision, ruin your whole life. Something akin to the butterfly effect? idk. Anyway point was that suppose I realised halfway through my course of study in the uni that I hated my major, I couldn't restart, could I? I mean technically I could, but that would waste a hell lot of time and money, both of which I doubt I really have.. Its things like these that make me afraid, but how can you be afraid of both the present and the future? At the same time I miss the past and have great expectations for the future, so how does all that fit together? I know I'm rambling but that's what happens when you're steeped in boredom and monotony. I don't know how people can be muggers all the way, don't you have something better to do with your life? The prospect of 1.5 more months of this is insanely... mundane, oxymoronic for lack of a better expression. I flip through my notes going, hey I know this already, I shouldn't have to read it again should I? And then I think, crap I think I'd better, what if I've missed something out??? ..and so the boredom continues.
....back to Stats ):
posted by kat at
1:21 PM
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