you know how they say only a coward does things like that. and how its the easy way out, the road noone should go down? mell, maybe i'm a coward, that nobody that no one cares about. that road suddenly seems highly tempting. yknow, just let it be the be all and end all.

i have a feeling i went to the wrong school. i feel so stupid everytime the results come out, and i know i've tried. i see everyone doing well, then i look at myself and i only see a sadass loser who can't get anything right. i bet i'm gonna get hell again when we actually do get our reports back. i now i'm gonna be in deep shit again. and i actually don't care. just do whatever you want, its not like it matters now anyway.

as i'm typing this, the tears are starting to come, and this is the first time in a long time i'm doing this. it feels good, with all the pain and resentment welling up and overflowing. if you hate me so much, i don't see why you even had children in the first place. i know you don't like me. you're always saying how clever this person is by doing this and why can't i learn from this person and be like her etc. well if you like those people so much just go effing adopt them lar. i didn't ask you to have me right.

you know my mid year resolution, the one about not being such a failure? it hasn't worked at all. i work, but i'm still at square minus 10247857634093. i've become worse than the time i made that resolution.

HELL WHAT DOES ANYTHING MATTER ANYMORE.