when all my brightest days are dark.

2009-12-24T00:41:00.006+08:00

just a thought. Singaporean MRT officers are mildly retarded.

I just remembered that there was one day i was carrying my black adidas bag to coaching, and that the security officer stopped me and asked to look inside my bag. I've also noticed that everytime i carry that bag into an MRT station (and its been pretty often lately), the security officers give me/the bag suspicious looks as i walk past them. So this brings me to my question.. do they seriously think that every terrorist who's going to bomb the MRT station is going to put their bomb in a Suspicious Looking Black Duffel Bag to look the part? Wasn't it the government who warned us that terrorists are able to disguise themselves and could be anyone? So how is it that the demure old lady carry an oversized purse next to you cannot be a terrorist but someone carrying said Suspicious Looking Bag is a prime suspect? Have noticed that the staff only stop people carrying bulky/black/bulky and black bags. How does that work?

Another thought. I realise I seem to take very little interest in cultivating human relationships/friendships unless it seems certain that the person will be very dear to me. This realisation comes to me as I think about the number of people I would like to meet up with and can only come up with.. literally just over a handful of people. I don't think its because I'm a solitary person - I know that to be entirely false. In fact, I could even go as far as saying that I'm probably happiest among friends. Clarifications have to be made here, however, when I say friends. This is also where that realisation took root - that the people I'm happiest with are few and far between, and that by holding this small group of people close to my heart, I can be content. Knowing many people, and actually having friends who understand you and in whom you can confide are two entirely different matters. Truth be told, although I enjoy talking nonsense, that only happens to a point, and then I find myself wishing for the peace of company, not of the banter or stilted conversation that comes from most passing friendships, but the knowledge and comfort of knowing that whoever it is will always be there for you, and it is not what you say, but what you don't have to say that matters.

Hate to say that but amid the hustle and bustle of Christmas, the festive cheer hasn't quite seem to have infected me. All I want to do on Christmas eve and Christmas day is to spend time with the people who matter, not go to meaningless parties where I have to look for things to say, to talk about, where people ask what I have been doing/intend to do, and I find myself repeating the same anecdotes a hundred times. None of that is for me. I simply want the few people who mean the most to me to be with me. Feeling inclined to decline any invitations but I suppose that is not what is known as having Good Manners. Christmas is meant to be the season of love and of giving, but why does it feel like much of what is being done is simply to keep up appearances or whatever other reasons people do such things for.

At this point in time I can only say that i miss all of you, you should know who you are. If you don't know that I miss you because I haven't told you.. then oh well C'est La Vie but if I've told you that I miss you, then hell yes I miss you shitloads. ..You should know who you are even if I haven't told you. Okay my brain isn't used to thinking this much, think I'll go read my book now.

eight days ):

2009-12-21T22:02:00.003+08:00

okayyy mel has asked me to blog again -.- although i seriously have nothing much to blog about nowadays!!!

hmm watched avatar on friday night, was one of the better shows i've watched in a long time. although the storyline is predictable and cliched, i have to say the visual imagery and amazing graphics just left me wanting more. i suppose watching it in 3d, as well as having sofa seats didn't hurt!! but like seriously everyone should watch avatar. then had a super late dinner at kenny rogers before rushing home.

this post is so meaningless.

all my friends are heading off to various parts of the world, and i'm still here in singapore waiting for everyone to come back ): i miss everyone, and its going to be the longest 10 days everrr ):

coaching has been pretty fun (since when was making money not fun? but still..), i got upgraded to coaching the group above learn to swim, which is infinitely cooler cause the kids actually speak english, which allows you to correct their stroke in ways more substantial than 'kick harder!' plus the jap girls are really really adorable. they actually listen and do what they're told!! too cute. it started raining towards the end of the session on sat though, and since it was a test week i had to run about on pool deck instead of being able to stay in the warm pool, so i was consequently shivering like mad for the last half hour or so! still i guess it beats working 9-5!

met kris tying and miffie after that for a quick lunch at cedele. was nice seeing them again and talking nonsense as we always do. my apple cinnamon pancakes were really quite delicious too heh. anyway after that miffie had harp lesson and kris needed to do her US apps so they all went off, and i came home to sleep lolll.

sunday was lunch at mum's friend's place who's moving to ukraine, which was awesome roast beef and misc other random chinese food hahaha. then after that spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with, which was awesome as usual. (:

grrrrrr nothing to blog about SRSLY. i wish i were going to paris too. kbye.

2009-12-16T22:37:00.003+08:00

Oh dear I realise its been almost 3 months since I last blogged. Since (unnamed) people whose names appear on my tagboard have been bugging me to blog, I shall. So this is, shall we say SLIGHTLY overdue, but the big A's are finally over, and so is prom. The end of A's was really amusing cause we were sitting in the ISH after the Lit paper, knowing that it was our very very very last paper like, ever, so Dan GW JY and I were sitting at the back of the hall giving one another maniacal grins :D Also helped that we finished like a week before the next people!

Life after A's hasn't been as slack as I'd imagined it to be. I somehow imagined days of slacking in front of the TV or bumming around somewhere, but it turns out I haven't been watching as much TV or dramas as I would have liked to (this sentiment x10000000) and also going out is actually tiring x10000 so sometimes I'm actually really disinclined to go out. Anyway it has still been a whirlwind of crazy outings with awesome people like Mel Sal and Chermz, we should totally go back to BB to claim our Buffalo Wings and Milkshakes etc! :D Sitting there talking crap and doing nonsense is the funniest ever. I think if we were to keep going back there the waiters will start to refuse to serve us water. We drink about 1 million gallons each time we're there. Esp Mel who kept finishing her water and asking the waiters to serve her more water when everyone else was only halfway through their glass. Also crazy outings like playing pool/L4D2 with Mel and Lucas, which can I say we totally suck at. Pool was just being retarded and targeting people (more like Mel and Lucas targeting each other! And I still didn't even win one round omg) and L4D2 was just retarded, Lucas had to keep teaching us how to use the controls and move around, and I actually got dizzy from navigating and turning around using the mouse. Will never understand how boys can play such games for hours and hours on end. I swear I lost a substantial amount of brain cells from those 2 hours alone ):

Oh and also the best thing happened, in the best possible way. But why/how does the whole world know???

Prom was also not bad, although we paid so much just to take photos in my opinion. The food wasn't even that good, and the only great thing was seeing everyone together again and hanging out! Plus I loved my dress to bits :D After prom was the best though we went to the Esplanade to hang out, just us sitting there and talking, then after that took a cab over to Clarke Quay to meet Jiahao Sally Hanni Jerome etc, but we only sat for 10 mins cause when we reached they'd all finished eating and watching soccer and wanted to go back to the hotel -.- The food counter was also closed so we all trooped back to macs at 3am for unhealthy food hahaha. Spend the rest of the night till 5am just sitting around and talking, then k had to leave for the airport while i went to sleep and wait for Jing to come. Woke up about 730 and everyone was damn shagged but walked all over looking for a Ya Kun that Jonlim was positive was somewhere. It was actually nowhere. Settled for macs at Marina when there was actually one where we were -.- Retarded. Still had an amazing time with all the people I love nonetheless!

So have also been baking a lot, managed to bake this amazingly perfect cake from a recipe my bro found online, and its been fantastic! Also managed to get a job coaching super cute jap kids! As a result I now speak random jap phrases like "straighten your arms", "straighten your legs", "kick harder", "put your head down" etc. The pay is also pretty good so I'm not complaining.

Also yesterday was alternately fun and scary!!!! Won't go into details but dinner was totally scary I was damn scared I'd screw up. Argh am sick of typing. Will blog another time! HI MEL AND SAL I BLOGGED STOP BUGGING ME PLS.

2009-09-21T13:21:00.003+08:00

So prelims are (just about) over, and since I'm so screwed for Lit paper 2 I suppose it doesn't really count as a paper? Does that even make sense? It does to me ):

Kinda hard to believe that all those years of school have come down to this, the last month and a half of madness, where all the studying or non-studying that you did culminates in 9 papers. What you do in the exam hall a month and a half from now will make or break your future, your choice of uni etc. How is it that everything comes down to this? It doesn't even seem remotely fair; what if a small misreading of a passage or question were to precipitate into some huge mistake, one which you don't even realise you've made till the end of the paper? And by then all you can do is swear furiously in your head (or out loud, whichever suits you) and hope that everything else you did right will be enough to bolster the mistakes. Even that is sometimes too much a stretch of the imagination when you're writing an econs, geog, lit, or gp essay. Hey what dyou know, that's pretty much all my subjects! In essence: its do or die.

Also scary how one small mistake can affect the rest of your life. I (think I) know what I want to do with my life, but what if, just what if, I make the wrong decision? I mean you could spend your whole life doing the right thing (not that I'm saying that I have, but this being a supposition, we shall assume the ceteris paribus condition), and in making that single wrong decision, ruin your whole life. Something akin to the butterfly effect? idk. Anyway point was that suppose I realised halfway through my course of study in the uni that I hated my major, I couldn't restart, could I? I mean technically I could, but that would waste a hell lot of time and money, both of which I doubt I really have.. Its things like these that make me afraid, but how can you be afraid of both the present and the future? At the same time I miss the past and have great expectations for the future, so how does all that fit together? I know I'm rambling but that's what happens when you're steeped in boredom and monotony. I don't know how people can be muggers all the way, don't you have something better to do with your life? The prospect of 1.5 more months of this is insanely... mundane, oxymoronic for lack of a better expression. I flip through my notes going, hey I know this already, I shouldn't have to read it again should I? And then I think, crap I think I'd better, what if I've missed something out??? ..and so the boredom continues.

....back to Stats ):

2009-08-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

It just hit me - this week was the last proper week of school that we had. Having mixed feelings about that. One on hand I'm glad we'll have more time to study without having to go for lessons which sometimes are nothing but a complete and utter waste of time, but on the other hand, I daresay I'm going to miss the routines, the hanging out in class, talking to random people along the corridor, and the knowledge that everyone's going to be there. After this week and the rest of the prelims, I can't say for sure that I'm going to get to see everyone properly anymore. Apart from the fact that there'll be the checking of papers, everyone's going to be doing their own studying.. No more congregating as a clique/class to laugh at the guys playing bridge, no more sitting in class during extended breaks (read: GP), no more anything, just blind eat sleep shit study. After that? Well I suppose there will always be prom after that, but again, not everyone's going. And after prom? People will be going away on holiday, then the mad rush to apply for unis and everything is going to begin, people are going to fly off to begin the rest of their lives, nothing's going to the the same.

Where did the 2 years of JC go? They weren't kidding when they told me to treasure it. I THINK I have, but it turns out that maybe it wasn't enough. I'd like time to freeze, or press the slo-mo button, so that whatever little time we have left can be treasured and utilised right down to the last second.

By an extension of that point, I'd also like time to slow down so that I'd get more studying done. It seems that my brain hasn't begun to assimilate how much I have left to do, and at this point in time, I'd say that that's an especially worrying prospect. "What will people say if you can't even make it to uni?" I sometimes wonder. Its not a very pleasant thought, and one which warrants more emphasis. Perhaps its not always good to be "unambitious and not very concerned with getting ahead in life" as my Civil Service College test result proclaims. (or something to that effect anyway)

Well okay back to whatever I was trying to do. Perhaps I'll attempt an Econs essay. Time to buckle down or I'm going to get pwnzed inside out, outside in, left right centre in 2 months.

GAME ON. There's no looking back, not now, not ever.

2009-08-01T22:51:00.004+08:00

merrilllllllll says:
WAH WTF
merrilllllllll says:
I REALISE IN YOUR BLOGPOST
merrilllllllll says:
WHEN YOU SPRAINED YOUR ANKLE
merrilllllllll says:
YOU DID NOT THANK ME FOR HELPING YOU GET HOME
kat. says:
ahahaha
merrilllllllll says:
LOUSY!!!!!

HI MERRILL THANKS FOR GETTING YOUR DAD TO SEND ME ALL THE WAY HOME WHEN I KILLED MY ANKLE LAST YEAR. THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES (: (not spraining my ankle)

BANKAI

2009-07-16T23:06:00.001+08:00

in 6 weeks, we will all have to BANKAIIIIIIIIII.

okay freaking tired i think its screwing with my brain off to sleep (off with her head) hahaha okay wtf.

2009-07-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

i miss the times we had, as good friends or otherwise

FOCUS

2009-07-11T14:05:00.002+08:00

i need to focus, need to keep telling myself that all this will be worth it, and i really really really need to get to it. there are only 7 weeks to prelims, which means all my work needs to be top grade by then. to run through all of year one's work, and polish this year's in that small amount of time, is insane, to say the least. i need to buck up and start being anxious about all this, yet i can't be overly nervous or i'll just shut down and go into denial mode. once again its that fine line that seems to intrude into everything that i try to do.

i need to get a move on, in so many other ways than just this. someone tell me how to do it.

"there's a divinity that shapes our ends,
rough hew them how we will."

now, more than ever, i'm convinced that shakespeare knew exactly what he was doing.

how to take an interest in your life again

2009-07-06T22:00:00.006+08:00

So this weekend has been pretty fun, and since I promised Mel I'd blog 2 days ago, I guess this is overdue. Haven't really posted proper stuff in a while either anyway.

So Thursday marked the end of CT2, which I must say has been something of a catastrophe for me, to say the least. Anyone looking at my grades when they come back is going to think that probably couldn't be bothered to study cause my geog, math and econs grades are going to be dismal, and that's already understating it. I'm at least slightly more optimistic about Lit due to the fact that I might actually have been able to understand something for once in my 2 years of JC lit, enough perhaps, to scrape a B. Anyway so Friday after Geog 3B basically hung around the canteen talking nonsense (which we so happen to excel at) and uhhh watching people. Saw the Hist people and realised their paper was probably as bad as ours had been. Went straight home after that though, cause I seem to be disinterested in doing some stuff nowadays..

Friday was awesome cause it was a whole retarded day out with Mel, Sal, & Chermz :D Lunched at California Pizza Kitchen, where we had 3 awesome pizzas, and sat there talking for about 2 hours. Noted that most people came and went but we sat for such a long time that Mel managed to get comfortable enough to put her feet up on the seat and make Sal and Chermz think that our side had more space than theirs. Walked around aimlessly after that, before deciding to check Orchard Central out. Have to say it was kinda a disappointment cause most of the stores weren't open yet, and whatever that was was wholly uninteresting. The 2 things most of interest to us were the B&J's shop on the 8th floor, and the red comfy chairs in the basement. (&Since when have food and being a pig not appealed to me?) I think we just walked around aimlessly after that, before deciding to walk to City Hall cause Chermz had to pass sth to her friend. I almost died when they suggested walking from Somerset to City Hall. As if that wsn't enough, we walked around Raffles City (our hometown right, Sal the elitist?) twice and then around the entire City Hall area once. I think my soles were seriously ready to fall off. Anyway not complaining cause they're amazing company (: Haven't had so much fun in a long time.

I quote from Sal's blog:
"
Mel has like a mental map of all the seats available in the various shopping centers along the whole stretch until raffles city. but I must say she became really enthusiastic about walking after we passed plaza sing. then things got a bit retarded. or maybe chermz got retarded.
At a junction, the green man was blinking so we were ready to make a dash for it.
chermz "STOP! I cannot."
kat "oh yah the drink."
-light turns red-
chermz "okay NOW! GO!"
owned.

"hey doesnt it feel like homecoming?"
"huh?"
"just look ahead raffles hotel and raffles city" :))

We then proceeded to raffles city since chermz was meeting a friend there.
chermz "kat do you rmb how she looks like?"
kat "yah. arent you supposed to pass the ks bull to her?"
chermz "I know. I just forgot how she looks like."
"

OH and Sal said the funniest thing to me that day.
Kat, " oh yea I like the movie Anastasia."
Sal, "Yea and I think the spider in Charlotte's Web is also called Anastasia!"
K, "but its called CHARLOTTE'S WEB"
S, " OH"
..but I digress.

Sat was shopping with mum and Jon. Basically walked around Orchard again, and looked at lots of stuff but bought nothing. Stuff was cheap but uninteresting/not as nice as it should have been, so I bought nothing but Watchmen and a Sesame Street file. How sad is that ):

Sun I baked a cake for the first time in my life. I can't believe I've never baked one before yesterday, seeing as i'd baked cookies and blondies and stuff countless other times. Anyway the lemon yoghurt cake turned out pretty well so I'm quite happy.

Today was brunch with Yingy, Kris, Tying and Miffie! Was great cause we found this place called Jones The Grocer at Dempsey, which serves awesome food at pretty decent prices. Something like $12.50 for coconut pancakes, ice cream, and mango cubes. Loved it, but it was such a huge serving that Miff and I were struggling to finish ours. Have no idea how Tying finished hers so fast. Uhh insanely long walk out of Dempsey area after that, then took a bus to The Cathay to watch Duplicity. Was alright, but quite confusing cause they kept jumping back and forth. Notbad day, in essence.

Don't get how people write long posts about their day to day musings, and how it can all sound so reflective and almost good enough to publish in a book. Sometimes I wonder if they rip it off from somewhere, or I just don't think enough. Does one actually have to take time to formulate such intricate thought processes or does it come to you as naturally as the day turns into night? I wish I could, yet I'm afraid to try/am too lazy to try. Realise that's a major problem with me, that I simply don't have the drive to strive for anything. Everything I realise is mostly on hindsight, and even then I console myself, telling myself that I could've achieved that if I'd tried, and no one else would even come close. But hindsight is useless when you can't have a do-over. Someday I'd like an epiphany to hit me so hard when I'm in the midst of doing something, that it knocks the living daylights out of me, makes me realise that I can be so much more than I'm being at that split second in time, and make me get to it. Okay maybe not knock the living daylights outta me in the literal sense since that would probably make the epiphany useless.

random thought: i'm damn weird.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda. I don't want to be that person.

2009-06-23T23:58:00.001+08:00

screw cts there's no way i'm going to finish revising. ))))))))))))))))))))))):

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
as if you'll remember even sending this to me

heidi klum!

2009-06-11T20:02:00.006+08:00

favourite model :D super funny video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvmykRabhLg

oh oh oh another part of the same episode!!! she's so cute

2009-05-31T14:41:00.000+08:00

srsly why do i even bother?

..no don't answer that.

2009-05-27T21:54:00.000+08:00

"till the end of time
the friendship holds.
as was not measured in dime
together down the path life unfolds."

remember?

signs

2009-05-11T19:58:00.004+08:00

2009-04-21T23:29:00.002+08:00

if what i've heard is even partially true, all i can say is that i'm hurt, angry and very mad. if you're only going to come to me when you need me and you've done what i think you might have done, then i really don't think this so called 'friendship' should even exist. i mean seeing as we don't even talk and all, then forget it. i'd told myself that i wasn't going to be a sucker ever again, and hey you're not worth my time thanks.

good times.

2009-04-18T19:01:00.004+08:00

Look what I found while I was clearing my folders! Click to enlarge. Hope they don't get pixellated D:

2009-03-21T18:05:00.003+08:00

CTs start in one and a bit days, and I don't think I'm even close to being halfway prepared for them. I'll probably scrape through Math and Geog, and Epic Fail Lit and Econs. Especially Econs cause I really have no idea what's going on in the Govt Intervention and Market Failure notes. ): ggxxyyzz to the max.

did you know that i used to listen to 'broken hearts parade' everyday because you loved it and because you were so sad about her? right now walking away seems to be the solution.

//edit
THIS CAT IS SO CUTE OMG.

2009-03-09T22:00:00.001+08:00

Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

2009-02-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

awesome mash up!

2009-02-14T16:24:00.000+08:00

2009-01-03T22:21:00.003+08:00

Okay happy new year everyone!

Too lazy to blog about everything. I know my blog's falling into neglect, and it seems its doomed to fall deeper into that seeing as this year will probably be THE craziest year of my life. i'm not giving up on you

2006-12-17T15:04:00.000+08:00

HELLO SINGAPORE I AM BACK :D back from almost one month in china! yeah that's super long. almost half my hols away from home, but i have to say that i really quite like china. (apart from the fact that the toilets suck and that they spit everywhere :p) okay actually i can't really tell you all the things that happened in kunming cos firstly i'd bore you with all the small details, and secondly because i'd most probably leave alot of the details out simply cos i can't remember everything that happened in a month.

all i'll say is that i had a helluva lot of fun, and that i'd like to go back next year. and that the shopping in china is especially good. you should have seen the amount of stuff that we bought, and the amount of fantastic food we ate over in beijing. didn't really have much time to do stuff in kunming, but kunming was still hell fun anyway. :D ssc people rock please. anyway in beijing we kinda bargained all the stuff down to waaaaay below the price they quoted, and the food is freaking cheap also please. one mac's burger is like $1.20 sing, one huge meal for the whole family is only like 4-5 sing if you eat at places the locals eat at. and the food there tastes especially good. it must be the amount of sincerity that goes into making the food. they're also definitely better than singapore with regards to service and civil morality. like on the public bus or subway, if they see an old or injured person get on, people just give them their seat without any hesitation. whereas here people just pretend to not to see anything at all. i have to say they're actually topping us in many things. (though yeah certain things like the toilets and general hygiene could be improved on :x)

so on the whole, yeah i like china! people tell me that china people are this and that and that china isn't nice, but i beg to think otherwise. (: plus i want to go back to beijing again to swim in the olympics! haha yeah sure kat, fat hope. cannot even qualify for sea games, and still thinking of going to the olympics. dream on huh.

haha photos not up yet. i have to upload kunming and beijing photos okay! yeah will update again when i finally manage to get the photos up.

whee HOT STUFF. :D and his character wei qixiang in rps rocks okay! " when all our memories become a line, i'll use that line to find you, and i'll never let go" omg so sweet. i wish someone would say that to me HAHAHA. lol ignore me.

how come everytime you come around
my london london bridge wanna go down.

2006-12-29T21:51:00.000+08:00

hellohellohello what's been going on. i'm so bored at the moment plus i'm sick of doing rs. so here i am. i realised i really don't have anything to talk about nowadays. ): ccao today. i basically stood around for one hour eating and talking. ah well, felt kinda good to be back in school with friends and all. you see the problem with me is that when i'm left alone for too long and too often, i start thinking of others things that i'd really rather put out of my mind, so going to school takes my mind off that kinda stuff. honestly i don't mind going back to school, even if its just to see friends. its probably too late to change school now, so i'll just tahan another year and see if i can even get into rj.gah. ):

i need to start concentrating on the right stuff again.

the guy who can always make me laugh, no matter what. (:
(then again, you make me smile too. i smile to myself when i see you, and tell myself how much i love you. <3)

2007-03-04T22:16:00.002+08:00

hi i'm back. and i'm so damn sick of doing rs, but HIEW i finally finished the rs questions! rarrs. finally. i can't wait for rs to be over. (:

I AM WAITING FOR EP 15 OF HANA KIMI. ): and i'm waiting for 1030 so i can watch ugly betty! :D its going to be hilarious.

can someone tell me why i'm so sad? i know i shouldn't, but i can't help feeling that something is seriously missing in my life, and i guess its not helping that i'm listening to sad songs. like the slow ones from fahrenheit and 183 and tank. yeah whatever say i'm cheeeena, but i think chinese and korean songs have more meaning than like english songs. eng songs are too emo and they keep going on about how screwed up the world is and how they want to change things etc. whatever. they're too noisy.

nag is in 4 days. i totally can wait for it to come please. my training is seriously fluctuating. like today i think i had a pretty good session, but then the previous days' training was just completely crap. so yea i'm reallyreallyreally worried about nag. plus like something else happened today that made me kinda sad. ): i don't like seeing other people sad cos it makes me sad too. I CAN BE SAD BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN BE OKAY. I HATE SEEING PEOPLE SAD.

freak i think i'm going to start crying again. shit i hate this. effla. whatever shut up kat. back to math pt. and ugly betty later. i really need a good laugh.

i'm going to cheer myself up. look at my latest eyecandy (: since there hasn't been much news on shaowei lately.

aaron!

his side profile is DAMN HOT

aww so cute.

wuzun (: